In the past year my work has changed in a few ways. I am using more drawing, handlettering and painting. Last summer I experimented with painting around words and letters and I liked the look so much I have continued the experiment. The notebooks I paint in are Art Design and about 25 pages, the paper is textured on one side which changes the balance when doing a double page spread. I’ve used both Golden and Liquitex acrylics and various cheapie craft acrylics. While Golden is pretty luscious to dip into, I really prefer the cheapies.  The craft paints are easy to get a very thin layer with and you can work over it. 

I used to gesso over pages of printed books as a base for collage. Gesso has that gritty tooth that works so well as a base for paint, but is difficult to write over. Now I use an antique white craft paint and you can write on it with any pen, ballpoint or any other kind. It can be brushed on, smooshed on with foam or sponge, or spread with a used gift card. Gift cards are a useful tool. You can use them as they come or cut them in half at an angle to scrape with or even notch them to create patterns.

The photo is of one of my Envelope Journals.  The pages are simply opened business envelopes.  After layers of other papers, paints, and a heavy adhesive like Yes! they become thick and stiff.  They are bound with a metal spiral using a zutter bind-it-all.  In this particular volume I recut the pages and used gaffers tape on the bound edge for extra strength. 

One of the ways I prefer to work is to use something repeatedly such as a symbol written with a marker or pastel, a rubber stamp image, tape, or whatever else catches my fancy.  I will do it on each and every page, go back to the beginning and go through with something else.  I use anything and everything in my books such as rub-ons, labels from canned goods, wine, ale and liquor bottles, stickers pulled off of boxes, new stickers, fancy printed paper napkins or tissues, used tissue paper, wrapping paper, tickets, postage stamps, clothing tags, pictures cut from magazines and newspapers, store bags, old book pages, candy wrappers, band posters from telephone poles, postcards, and so on. 

One day my husband and I had lunch at a brew pub on Portland's east side, after which we walked up the street and I checked the poles for "art materials".  I was slow and he was about half a block ahead of me when an older man in a beat up car pulled over and asked me what I was doing.  Before I said anything, he said, "Hop in!"  I'd had a couple of pints and in my most gracious way, said "No thank you!"  My husband stuck closer after that.

Thinking Way Back, Waaaay Back

I've been thinking about early inspiration.  The earliest memory was the summer after Kindergarten.  At the end of year I brought home the booklets containing my work and Weekly Readers.  I worked over the worksheets several times.  The booklets themselves were folded sheets of construction paper that became the cover and staples down the margin kept everything in.  I used my mother's pinking shears to cut squares of newspaper which I pasted down.

In the first grade, there were several students who attended speech class.  They came back from sessions with composition books that had work sheets, such as a large snake making an S glued in.  It intruiged me.

Next was likely after Christmas in 1961.  I took some used gold foil giftwrap and some used sheets of paper and my sister's Tot 50 stapler to create a workbook. 

After that was the creation of a teachers grade book which I made out of scrap paper.  I was fascinated by that mysterious book that teachers had with the big paperclips holding in absence notes that were in various states of crumple.  I played school a lot as a child. 

In junior high I was into minatures.  Like dollhouse things.  I would take the top of a  zip out page notebook that was used up and cut it into small books.  I also made a few from scratch.  The tinier the better.

My imagination has always been more creative than imaginary.  I can think of things to do and make and alter other ideas readily.  I always wished I was better at imagination.  Not the thinking up things, I am very good at that, but pretending.  I always needed someone else to pretend with.  I could never do it alone.  My daughters were good at it, they had imaginary friends.  I'm still envious of that ability which is why I made up Ianto. 

These days I am working on grunge books.  I still love the rustle and crunch of "abused" paper.  I've been taking printer sample books and soaking them out doors in rainwater with coffee, ink, dye and whatever strikes my fancy.  I am now in the process of drying them out.  It is so much fun to see how each and every page turns out.

Artful Dodging

Inner Landscape

My inner landscape has just been altered.  Not so much by what is in it, although new discoveries have been made; but it has taken on new form, an inclusive form.  The mythology has been introduced to the alchemy as the inhabitants have risen to take my hand and introduce themselves.  Morag, the wise woman lives there as do various and sundry trolls and pixies.  Archetypes are evolving.  Dreams are become more tangible.  The entire world of it existing peacefully as a country on this bereft and be globe.  I may be the only inhabitant to see it fully, but that does not make it less so. 

Just as ones opinions of the reality we live in give it a certain slant and shade, this is just as real.  I was happy to meet some of the inhabitants this past week and look forward to meeting more.  This is what I have always longed to do, but allowed myself to get too tied up in someone else's norms to dare step out.

It began simply enough in the weeklong workshop I took at Hollyhock with Nick Bantock called The Artful Dodger this June, 2011.  We worked on art projects and writing projects.  And they all generated our own new countries.  Meeting the other participants still makes me wonder how we all arrived at the same space and time.  Were we all seeking to create the same sort of thing? 

Prior to embarking on this journey, I searched the net to find what others who had done this before were now producing.  And the results were not encouraging.  I did not see anything that excited me at all.

And now, having come home and studying what I did produce, I do not think anyone looking at my work would really equate it with any of his.  The backgrounds are the only real connection.  I do not render well, and while I now have a bit more encouragement to work on that, it is not what I really am inspired to do.  What I am inspired to do is to continue on the inner journey and explore the new territory.  I have new insight into how to explore symbolism.  And a new relationship with color.  And a better way to write and watch it unfold.  That alone would be worth the time, energy and money spent, but added to that was a great deal of affirmation into the synchronicities, the alchemy, the entire inner realm.  And the outer realm as well, not neglecting the body or senses. 

What a grand trip it was.  Let us begin.

Thought Rhyme and Dreaming Awake

Thought Rhyme is a type of poetry, like the Psalms of the Old Testament where the first line and the second line are different but echo each other, its pattern is ababab...  I find that it is an important element of what I love to do on a page.  I mentioned in  a much earlier post how I like to find patterns in paired photographs.  A great deal of it is unconscious.  When I gather collage elements together, there is often something going on in the choices.  When I glue it all down at first it looks disjointed as though there is no common thread, but the more time I spend with it, the more the images start binding together.  It's like a dream where the elements seem to have nothing in common, but when you analyze it, it starts to fall into place to create what is going on inside that we tend to ignore during our conscious life. 

Sometimes I will get out my dream book and analyze my page as though it is a dream.  They do a similar job.  It really makes or breaks an art journal.  The photographic term 'depth of field' comes to mind.  What is in sharp focus, what is in soft focus in your page. 

Conversely, you may use a technique that just fills the background.  But is that really all it does?  What goes on in your mind when you do it?  Is it a quick and messy process that just moves you forward?  Or is it slow and meditative and you are a thousand miles away while you create it?  I find that very restful and rejuvenating.  A background of tiny lines may seem to be just filler, but when you look at that page again you will remember in some way, the density of thought that created it. 

I've been recently painting pages for backgrounds.  And sometimes it turns into a page on its own.  I am no painter, but the joy it brings me is just marvelous.  And that is why I have been able to grow and keep working in my journals for so many years, the joy is intoxicating and I am always ready to drink deeply of it again. 

Some of the other processes that fill me up are cutting magazine photos out.  Not just severing them from the page, but cutting a photo out to ready it for use.  Some I like to cut the image out in its own shape, like a flower, or a bird or a dancer.  If there is movement in the photo, such as a dancer, then cutting away the background will add that movement to my page. 

Whatever you are doing, whatever your style, you bring a depth to the page that no one else will ever fully realize.  Your pages are a gift to yourself.  Do not worry that your work isn't like some other artitst's, it is yours, and you really need to express yourself.  That is the difference between art and craft.  You might feel uncomfortable with your handwriting sloping up or down the page, or not being readable.  Maybe it shouldn't be readable by everyone.  Maybe you should develop a code in your script that isn't readable.  How mysterious that would be.

Solitude and a Room of One's Own

Who knew better than Virginia?  Personal space is so very important.  We will be moving shortly into a house of our own, within which I will have a room of my own.  I've always had a room to work in, but it has always been shared with storage and extra furniture, our library, and so forth because always in the past our home has been too small.  In my past life I had a larger house which I called the library, I didn't feel any need for art space then.  But everyone else in the house would clean the living room by dumping the excess into my room. 

Currently, in my new life, our two bedroom condo/townhouse/duplex/apartment has very little room and very little storage.  My wingspan is far too wide for this and I look forward to moving into the house we are purchasing.  The room you see in the photo above is to be my art room.  It has everything I could dream of, a large walk-in closet, a window seat, some built in shelves and space for tables and chairs and whatever else I need. 

My current "room of shame" has had every possible enhancement to help straighten it out, and the perimeter of it is quite nicely organized, but the remaining 7X7 space is a veritable sea of crap.  Boxes of collageables, paper cutter, unshelved books and magazines, art supplies and more art supplies.  In order to find one thing, three more must be moved.  This detritus will fit nicely into the closet of the room pictured above.  It is a dream come true. 

Solitude is quite another thing.  While I have quite an independent streak (noted early on in a report card, "M is sometimes too independent").  I should probably blow that up on a copier and frame it.  But Gryphon and I are very close.  We spend most of our time together.  I thought early on in our relationship that I would feel smothered by that, remembering being a mother of three and sometimes feeling like an anthill.  I remember one time trying to put on my makeup in the bathroom and being joined methodically by every single family member until I blew my cool and ordered them all out.  But I don't feel that way now. 

I still crave solitude, but I do find it here and there and it is wonderful.  Mostly I just crave room enough to move around in.  I have a recurring dream, a house dream, in which at one point I enter a sunny room, empty of furnishings with a golden oak floor and I turn to my young daughters and tell them, "this is the room for dancing". 

Eye Candy

I've been rather taken with the painting "The Nightmare" for quite some time.  And I like to watch every Clive Owen movie and television series available.  So when the above image turned up on the series "Second Sight"  I just about went squirrely trying to find it online, it was my screensaver for quite awhile.  So I am being rather a pixie by posting it.  Everyone (like all 2 or 3 of you) reading my blog has requested more eye candy, so I am going back through my posts and adding it.  Not more photos of Clive Owen, but photos from my journals. 

I've done quite a few journal pages lately.  I've gotten a bit more experimental.  I thought I would lighten things up a bit by doing a pink journal.  Amazing how dark one can get with a bright pink page.  I have an obsession with black and white photos on my pages.  The starkness appeals to me.  It gives me focus on what the image is saying to me.  I like the drama, the contrast.  I use b&w photography magazines for most of the images although lately fashion magazines have been using more of them. 

5 Card Stud

These are images of a set of tarot cards I made for my former muse, prior to Ianto.  There is an
entry earlier in my blog about that.  I enjoyed making these, they are on silver cardstock and there is a common pattern on the backs.  But each grouping of  cards has a different theme of sorts.  The point of them as a gift was encouraging him to stop smoking. 

Cannot be moved

I have tried to move the entry from December 12 that I mistakenly put on the wrong blog. Copying does not seem to work. It was about a project I started on the balcony trying some experimental dying of books. When I begain it refused to rain for well over a week. There was enough moisture in the air however to have some effect. Since then, it has rained plenty and snowed and frozen a couple of times. I will attempt to get them out to dry without turning the deck blackish purple. Then perhaps I will put some other papers in the "bath" to see what effect it all has. I used some powdered dye and some craft paint and some ink.

Meanwhile I bought a heavily discounted copy of Mapping the World, which is as large as any world atlas, but bound on the short side making the pages very wide. I've removed every third page to reduce weight, it is still too heavy. And I've gone onto Juliana Coles Etsy site and ordered her retreat booklet for the Altered Atlas.

I'm happy to see 2010 arrive under a blue moon. I hope that is auspicious. I would love a year of good solid creativity and the joy it always brings me. I always have a tendency to do too much or attempt to do too much, but I am not going to flagellate myself over that. Some things may be set aside for a time, but time is just an illusion, is it not? While the last year has been a difficult one in so many ways, it has also been a revelation. The past decade, the Aughties, has been as full of joy and pleasure just as deeply as the pain and loss. I am certain that every limit that I will now experience will be the catalyst for something new and wondrous.

Further Unruliness

It looks as though I will have to subdivide "The Tome" as the Gryphon likes to call it. At this point it could easily be two large volumes. I think I'd better go with three, I am not done adding things. It also appears I will need to reinforce the holes as well. I have "completed" about 6 pages in the rear of the volume. By completed I mean that I have finished glueing and painting, have added areas to write in and gone over it all with a coat of heavy gel. When I finally use this journal I may add other items as well as writing and drawing (mostly doodles). I love these pages and sit there petting them. The Gryphon says he fears rolling over in bed and finding me, the tome and the glue.

Reversing the order of applications as mentioned in the previous post has worked out well so far. I keep grabbing things out of various bags and boxes and going through adding bits here and there. How do I select what goes where? I put things down on several pages and then when it "fits" I glue it down. I like to add elements to as many pages as possible, so far I've done that with a sun rubberstamp and the Martha Stewart (not a huge Martha craft supply fan, but her punches are quite marvelous, I'm coveting the dual starfish/sand dollar punch presently) bird punch, I'm not punching the pages, but punching magazine pages and glueing them down on every page. I probably pay far more attention to color or lack thereof than to putting things together thematically. The fact that one page has a rain photo and the opposite has a rain check ticket is either pure coincidence or unconscious brilliance (cough, cough) on my part.

Unruly

A friend once described me as a brambly, overgrown sort of woman. I really like that description. I try not to impose rules on my journalling which makes unruliness the order of the day/year/century. This year, especially since last summer, I seem to be feeling more and more chaotic. I have a lot of different journals for different things, from reading journals to my chronological "americas-test-kitchen" free-for-all experimental do whatever I please journals. I like to work within constraints, but I've just (thank you, Ianto) had to slap myself for trying to impose rules on myself again. A few months back I thought of the idea of using bill and junk mail envelopes (especially patterned safety papered windowed ones) for journal pages. I made covers out of used manilla envelopes and used a zutter machine to bind them together. It was a pretty amateurish attempt, the holes are less than perfect and I didn't trim them at all. I've used layers of crackle paint on the cover to make it look like an old cabinet door that had been repainted several times and abused and left out in the rain. Then I started gluing pieces of handbills pulled off of Hawthorne SE and 21st NW wooden power poles, the more weathered, the better. I used Uhu for awhile, but it didn't get magical until I switched to Yes! which added just the right amount of stiffness for pages. I tried to utilize the windows as well. It was looking just raunchy (not a bad start) and then I started adding borders which pulled the open pages together. Some of the borders are wide strips done with Copic markers, some are the computer feed hole strips pulled off of invoices, and whatever else I might come up with. I liked the idea of repurposing the materials. But then the inevitable conflict arose of when to say enough is enough. I got there today. It can't be entirely repurposed material unless I want to alchemically turn something into glue and something else into paint. So, I'm going with the tide on this one and just feeling the direction as it occurs.

I'd considered finishing volume seven (which requires binding) first, but it's just become an arbitrary constraint. So, I've been painting and wiping (Juliana style), and utilizing my collection of nouns in it, getting ready for another layer. I'm not exactly sure what the next layer will be. I ran out of paint halfway through, I could either use another color or get more, but when I started writing in purple Caran d'Ache neopastel, I kept writing even when the painting ran out, and even on pages that didn't have anything glued on them, so it will be interesting to see what happens on pages that get the order reversed.

Mindful Textillian

I had a quiet hour this morning and spent part of it layering sewing pattern piece tissue in my journal. The paper is very fragile and Yes! glue is the consistency of honey so it was a slow, deliberate process. I found myself silently chanting a Henry Wadsworth Longfellow quote that I find timeless:

All things must change, to something new, to something strange.

It was a pleasant and mindful process which is something I love about journaling. I've begun doodling flourishes, lines, and other things with extra fine markers just for the slow, mindful process. I love the feeling. I love the way things feel both tactile and physically. I am a Textilian. One of things I like to glue into my journals is rose petals (an idea I borrowed from my beautiful daughter, Bhride--first you convince them to art journal and then you borrow their ideas). If you flatten them (unabridged dictionary works for me), then gluestick (oh, holy gluestick) them down, and do not put any thing over them (I tried botanical glue, it did not work) you can touch them and they are like velvet on your page.

Lately I have been laying paper on paper, and I love how it stiffens like paper mache. I love the feeling of the starchiness. I could glue pages together, but it doesn't really appeal to me (one day it will--I just haven't found the right situation thus far). I've been mulling over how to add fabric to my pages, so far I've used ribbon. But I tend to go for a grunge look that I haven't figured out yet for fabric, maybe tea dying and iron burnmarks, spilled coffee and bits of lace, apron pockets and hankies. Or just a book for swatches and a magnificent cover. A fabric fondle book of sorts.

It amazes me how much just spilled out of my head just then--putting ideas down tends to make them morph and grow.

I've been reading about Autism lately. We recently learned that my granddaughter, Ila, has some form of it. I read "Emergence" by Temple Grandin first. I wanted to learn about it from the inside out. It was quite a relief.

It was suggested that we work with her doing art, so yesterday I went over to babysit armed with dropcloth, paint, brushes and paper. We painted for quite awhile until we ran out of paper. I just squirted out globs of washable tempera on the drop cloth and we made quite a mess. Bree caught a photo of Annika with a blue goatee. But we had fun and hopefully the pages will dry before the year is out.

I tried researching art therapy online. Quite disappointing. I suppose the term is pretty broad, but I couldn't seem to find general information, I found plenty of therapists, books, programs and schools, but I don't know what I was looking for, all I found were more questions. Why do therapists want to help you discover and live your dreams? Why is therapy viewed chronologically? Why is all of this up for sale? Why do we keep cutting art programs in public schools? If we know that art is theraputic, why don't we all make an effort to participate? Why is this culture so dead set against anyone getting an education that will make us more whole? And especially, why can't we all get this for free? Seriously, why do we not teach children how to draw? Surely for wholistic brain health this is necessary. Of course we have a real problem with the concept of health for free. Do we really prefer to pay three or four times more to clean up the mess that denial of healthcare creates?

Mind Full ness

There has been a lot going on in my head lately and I think I will have to break it into categories and do them separately or the sheer length of this post will make it unreadable. Chaos in my head usually whirls together at some point and starts sending darts flying at different targets. Sometimes it all comes back together.

I keep telling myself to collect all of my found objects together in one cigar box and when it is full, create something. So far, I've only been able to remember it. I pass up quite a few things when I am out walking, maybe I should keep a bag in my pocket. It would be fun to scan all of the items and play with them like Colorforms. Now I've set myself another task...

If you can get a copy of issue #28 of The Bear Deluxe it is the contemporary art issue. This is yet another fine Portland periodical (free). I've flipped through it quickly, mostly only looked at the first page because Alan brought it to my attention, but that was inspiring. It looks like random patterns, but there are words in it. So I filled up extra space on one of my journal pages with the smallest lines I could manage. It looks like sky to me, with small birds here and there. And sort of brings to mind the comics I have been reading. I love the drawing in comics and of course I think I can't do it, but I probably can if I would only try. I have been attempting to draw more lately, it feels meditative, and it feels beyond what I can find a word for, but I've been reading a book called "Creativity From Potential to Realization" edited by Robert J. Sternberg and others. Only Chapter 8 has given me what I have been looking for, which is a listing of 13 intuitve, imaginative processes (from Sparks of Genius, 1999 Root-Bernstein):

1. Observing
2. Imaging
3. Abstracting
4. Pattern Recognizing
5. Pattern Forming
6. Analogizing
7. Empathizing
8. Body Thinking
9. Dimensional Thinking
10. Modeling
11. Playing
12. Transforming
13. Synthesizing

I am glad I found this book at the library since so little of it is what I was looking for, but I am so happy with this list and the subsequent explanation that I will probably be looking for Sparks of Genius next.

Firing My Muse

Somewhere in time, when I wasn't looking, my muse turned out to be a (psychic) vampire. It sounds harsh, I know, but it's just another SFT (Stupid Female Trick) to work so hard to try to please someone who cannot be pleased. So, he is now fired. I have now bought myself a lot of freedom. So will I find someone else to fill the position? I think instead I will invent an invisible muse. I still want my muse to be male and I love the name Ianto (yes from Torchwood), only this Ianto will have the body of St. Sebastian, complete with arrows, a set of working wings and some sort of animal head--with antlers. Ianto will live in a cave, read by torchlight, never watch television, and will convey messages from Guillermo del Toro. I do not wish to dominate or isolate Ianto, so he will have lots of artistic friends and a social life of his own. He can also choose his own preferred diet. If he wants to live on roast owl with gumdrops, it is fine with me.

Art & Soul 2008 Portland

I've been visual journalling for more than 15 years now and in all that time I have only taken one class which actually was even earlier than that, stamp carving. There were four people there, me, the two friends I came with and the instructor. It was a valuable class and I still carve stamps now and then. I've wanted to attend Art & Soul and ArtFest for years now and the closest I got was going to Vendor night two years ago with Bree. It's always been a problem with the timing, the money, or the distance. Another barrier for me is that I can find the information somewhere else, or figure it out myself.



In the meantime, I have joined PDX Visual Journaling Group led by Donna Bauermiller. Donna is very very gifted. Not only can she show you her growth as an artist, she is willing to. And she is one of the most natural encouragers I have ever encountered. In any meeting she will draw you out and find out things I would never think to ask. She also has a great sense of humor. I love this woman. And I have really come to love the class experience.



So, I decided I wanted to go this year to at least one class, but when the classes opened I didn't have the money and then it was too late. But someone dropped the class I wanted to take and I made it. So yesterday I took the workshop Book of the Night by Juliana Coles. Was it worth it? Yes. It takes me at least a day to determine how I feel about something, a book, a movie, and in this case, the class. I chose it because I like dark themes. I expected it to be emotionally draining. It wasn't. It was draining, I felt absolutely exhausted by the end of the class. I was quite happy to be done.



On reflection, the class isn't complete yet. There are exercises to be done yet which are in the workshop book we were given. And I've thought of a couple of my own. The other thing this class has shown me is that I need to take more classes. Not so much on theme levels as on technique levels. I found painting with acrylic to be very seductive. I don't particularly want to produce art on canvas, but I do want to know more about composition, balance, and when to quit! Or when not to. And improve my drawing skills, which I have been working on on my own. And maybe get in a bit of writing with Susan Wooldridge.



Another benefit was the swaps. I prepared 35 (gave one away at work) little packets. I knew I wouldn't finish 35 of anything, so I sorted through most of my stockpiles and whenever I found 35 of something, I put one in each bag. Eventually they filled an entire totebag. My co-inhabitant was adamant that I should return with an empty bag. I made about a dozen swaps and gave the rest away. It was well worth it. On every level. :)



And there were the benefits of interaction with the other women at our table. It was delightful. And going to the vendor sale and running into so many familiar faces? Priceless. I can't wait for next year, so I'd better start stowing some $$. I have a lone sock somewhere....

Volume 4: Grimoire

Started in 1998/1999 and "completed" in 2001 (prior to 9/11) this volume has a very witchy flavor. The book was a 500 page blank book (I removed a lot of them) and I carved a stamp and embossed the cover with it. The inside covers were covered with art paper printed with spirals.
My "audience" at this time was me and friends/daughters. I have never been a perfectionist and at this time I was still inventing the process myself, so my inner critic was well at bay and I didn't bother with backgrounds. But I still enjoy the starkness of the white pages.

The phrase "a woman of obvious power" was taken from "The Witches of Eastwick" by John Updike. There were also quotes from "Practical Magic" by Alice Hoffman.

A lot of the images I used reflected how I felt deep within. Sort of alone and floating in a misty world of possibility.

This is another example of color use and the start of images of women who don't fit commercial standards of beauty, but I find them quite luscious in their boldness.

Another recurring theme is my childhood and the objects that were important to me. The photo was taken after Christmas 1961 and developed in January -- The Shasta Daisies are blooming, I don't have sleeves or socks and that was a nice part about being a kid in California.

More magazine images I felt connected to. The 'remove before flight' tag on the broom was printed on clear label paper. I also liked images of hallways, paths, and stairs--symbolic of my personal journey.

Pink fantasies, pink marabou, pink telephones, fairy dust.

This was a perfect Spring day as I recall, and the images and poem enhanced it. Billy Collins is my favorite poet. Sometimes I did winter pages, but they never felt as good as other seasons.

Volume 3

I didn't name this journal after another type of journal. It was transitional for me, again I paired themes and sometimes colors. And I used a spiral bound photo album with black pages.

I found amazing photos to illustrate the discovery of a new life -- one lived alone which I enjoyed for 6 months, long enough to be able to share again. Then my youngest daughter, Brooke, moved in with me which I really enjoyed.

This time was very quiet and pleasant and I enjoyed white bedding and white towels and no one running around after turning off lights. In fact, I kept the lights blazing.

I've never been afraid (much to my daughters' chagrin) of color.

I also paired photos of age - preparing, I suppose. Whenever I look back on this book, I can almost hear the creek rushing by (and under) my apartment. It was a marvelous place to rest and regroup. My prior journals had been a place to escape to, this one was just a place to be.

The Commonplace Book 1997-1999

These are selections from Volume 2. I used a spiral art book with ruling on the bottom half of the page. Originally I thought I would do more writing in it. As you can see, I was still winging it without a decent paper cutter, just scissored magazine clips and rubber cement. But I started getting deeper into associations. Synchronicities began to develop, sometimes two images seemed very similar such as the women and the owls.

Other times it was all about color or no color at all-- black and white photos of fog. And exploration of passion and longing and romanticism.

I was reading Possession by A.S. Byatt, devouring poetry, watching Portrait of a Lady, The English Patient, and the Mirror Has Two Faces. I also was bitten by the Opera bug.

Other passions I had at the time were music - it was the time of Lilith Fair, Enya and Loreena McKennitt. Also exploring Oregon's emerging microbreweries. And ending a 25 year marriage.

Volume 1 1993-1997

My first art journal which I titled "Comfort Journal" because that was what I intended it to be. You can find the definition in "The Woman's Comfort Journal" by Jennifer Louden. It started in late 1993 with two Nick Bantock postcards given to me by Todd Allison who I consider to be my personal muse. It was a lined blank book with a cloth padded cover and it splayed out because of all of the things I attached. The photos above were clipped from a magazine article about McMenamins Edgefield where I had spent an afternoon with friends and spent a deal of it wandering the grounds while I read a long letter from a 6 year correspondence with a mad poet from West Virginia. It all felt marvelously 19th century romantic. The first quote is from "Possession: A Romance" by A.S. Byatt which is still my favorite book. The word "quiver" is from a lexicon I was creating with my good friend Roadside Rosie. This entry is from 1997. The Anais Nin quote: "We don't see thing as they are. We see them as we are." still rings true to me.

When I review this volume I am carried back to a time when my life was changing a great deal and I first felt its spiral. It contains quotes, dream symbols, poems, lists, photos, recipes, tickets, stickers, rubber stampings, labels, cards, movie stills, questions, maps, envelopes, a scan of the woman on the cover of Poemcrazy, copies of antique photographs copied at out of library books, fortunes from Musee Mechanique in San Francisco, bits from magazines, quotes from books I read, bits of gift wrap, used postage stamps and probably fortune cookie fortunes, which I personally find to be the most reliable form of divination.

These photos show a recurring symbol for me, the spiral, whether it is the inside of a nautilus or the curve of a stairway. I like to assemble repeating patterns and this is probably when I started doing that visually. At this time I had begun to recognize that parts of my life I had thought outgrown and discarded were coming back into my psyche. And that was a huge discovery for me.

I finished this journal and began my second Summer 1997. So it took about 4 years. It was very sparse to begin with, but I would go back through and add things as I discovered them. I did not know anyone who was doing anything similar at the time, so I wasn't influenced by anything beyond the written descriptions of journals such as the Comfort Journal.

Daydreams

Reclaiming the guest room. Well, space, actually. I have to get the bed together and leave room to walk and clear spaces. So far, I've found more things to do, projects to fondle, and things to coat with Golden Matte Medium. This room is a fright, especially with things drying on waxed paper all over the wee bit of floor that there is. Last week I sorted out a bit of the garage to finish sending Bhride's boxes and managed to locate quite a bit of fabric I'd forgotten about but it's so luscious I had to bring it in. My current fantasy? Having an elementary school classroom for my very own. How marvelous it would be to have a teacher's desk for my pens and writing things. All of those huge windows and counters and shelves, and 20 or so small desks to leave projects on. The cloakroom to fill with boxes. The chalkboards to keep reminders on. The bulletin boards to attach things to. Mail on one, photos on another, etc. The sink! The reading table to spread out large selections of things on. Good sturdy wastebaskets. An overhead projector to enlarge patterns with. A tile floor. And all of that glorious space. (Let's not think about asbestos...) That was fun, now back to my cloakroom sized room...